..not that strong afterall

i’m afraid

i’m afraid to be alone

i’m afraid to be in the room

i’m afraid to be alienated

i’m afraid i’ll flung again

i’m afraid it’ll be repeated

 

i dont want

i dont want to repeat

i dont want to sit for it again

i dont want it to happen

i dont want to think of it

i dont want it to happen

 

i did all i could to not think of it

but i can’t have ppl with me 24/7

i dont want to be alone in this room

i’m afraid

i dont want to see what’s going to happen

i dont want! i dont want!

 

what am i going to do?

it’s anger, it’s frustation, it’s worry

i’m startled, i’m angry, i’m sad

how could this happen?

 

where are you when i needed you the most?

i cant call, i cant text, i cant hear you

what are you doing?

are you thinking of me?

i miss you

tagged by chyeli!

i dont like being tagged! but i dont want being reminded ages for not doing this .. xp

Those who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
Tag 8 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse.These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. and so I tag:
waiyee, emily, gynette, stanley, maybelle

2. Describe urself in one word.
adorable is definitely not the word.. perfectionist

3. Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?
does it matters?

4. Have you ever loved someone before but never had the courage to tell him/her?
i’m not sure if that’s love

5. How if people reject your confess face to face?
just laugh and say, “i’m just joking” ?

6. God is giving u just 5 more minutes before going back to heaven, IF you love someone special, what will you say to that person?
i’ll wait for you .. haha.. but it sounds like i’m cursin that someone special to die faster xp

7. What will u say to a person who doesn’t want to believe u?
fine!

8. Was ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?
needless. you just love them when you really does.

9. What’ your opinion about someone who’s jealous?
they are such just because they really cares a lot.

10. Do you have something special with you all the time?
yes. definitely.. 24/7

just when i thought i’m done with the tag..
PART 2 .. got part 2 somemore.. i wanna cry d..

 
Best place to cry?
on the bed..with the comforter over me

Who do you love the most?
my family

Tell us of your dream last night?
i dont remember if i had a dream last night

Ever hated someone so bad?
yes. just lately.. that a**h*** neighbour of mine

The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard?
not one that i’ve heard yet

The last person you had a beer with?
wine counted? with the crazy unit4 kakis

The last person you went to the movies with?
gyn n emily

The last person you talked on the cell phone with?
rachel .. we stayed under the same roof but i called her to come n see jay chou on youtube :)

The last person you hugged?
mm.. not quite remember

The last person you yelled at?
i think it’s waiyee ( it’s a playful one ). she always cannot hear me.. -.-

In the last week have you kissed someone?
no, i’ve been good :)

Danced crazy?
i’ve never step into the clubbin scene a very long time ago

Think of the last time you were angry, why were you angry?
a few weeks back when i’m helpless in getting my doggies back

If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
be able to express myself better

If you could have an all expense paid trip, where will you go?
i wanna see the northern lights!

Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
to make them do something for me? yea.. i think my siblings.. haha

Are you old fashioned?
depends on what you’re talking about. everyone has their own beliefs, you cant say that they’re old-fashioned just because they believe in something that you don’t…gosh~that’s sociology!

What would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
the close knitted ones

Five facts About Me:-
– just became 22
– talkative at times
– multitasking
– adores jay
– ppl you wanna make friend and not enemy with

Five things that i have in my mind right now:-
– eat “hot soup” in kjg ..many thanks to weiann who tempt me!
– wondering why is hm not replying my msg
– what will i have for dinner later?
– where can i dl 5ive’s songs in the “invisible” album?
– that dispensary exam on monday

Two Songs Playing in My Head Lately:

– Jay’s 說好的幸福呢
– JJ’s cries in a distance 

 

Three Things I treasure in My Life:-
– is it really necessary to rate all those stuffs in my life? xp

monotonous

finally scribed the last word in the drug stability report.. the very last report for year 3. hell long.. don’t know since when i become sooo cheong hei. nonetheless.. i’m glad i’ve finished it. can now put all my attention on the dispensary exam on monday. telling you that i’m not nervous if a white lie. hearing how scary it would be.. i’m shiverin~

it’s cloudy the whole day today.. made me soo lazy to get up from the bed, tho i’ve been snoozing the alarm for 2 times. It has been singing “cries in a distance” .. my current favourite.

time passes really quick this semester.. it’s the last week of tuition next week.. one week of study break. heaven finals are here. then i shall bid goodbye to 3rd year. i’m very much looking forward for our rotation stints next year. especially if i got the offer to go regional areas. i’ve put up that as one of my options.. if i got it, albany/bunbury.. here i comes! pray hard i got it.. but ppl around me.. esp that gynette low, mengada~ kept on discouraging me! she told me all the cons if i go regional areas esp “cannot go sing k!”  ciss.. that time i wont need to sing softly as i did in the room now la. can sing loudly.. no one cares also. lol~ hm.. nvm lah, for the sake of the breathtaking views n valuable experience in regional, i’m willing to sacrifice my time in utopia/crown.. :) i hope i really mean that~

23/10 “kang xi lai le” with jay chou as the guest. a must watch. i realised that he’s really good with his magic tricks.. and he’s sooo freaking adorable ..   “ai-yo” .. so diao~    thank you kyle!

randomness

the weather is just hot.. 33 today and it’s hotter than in msia

no class today so i didnt wanna step out of my room.. i can feel it’s burning outside

woke up at 1030 but still feel my head as heavy as ever.. trying to get some sleep late noon.. but was disturbed. first knock on request of a stapler and the second knock on the door asking me do i still wanna extend my stay in vic

convincing someone to do smtg was not my field of expertise. i’m not good in it.. but i dont know why u ppl still insists me on doing so. what to do… do only lor

gonna have pharmchem practical test tmr.. but i dont feel a thing. isn’t that worrying?

i’m still thinking of the best options. sometimes i rather you give me just no other options

gotta get moving.. get change and get ready

mentally exhausted

i should put these 3 days on my ‘worst-day-ever’ list if i would ever had one. tremendously torturing.. to the point that i’m tearless. talking bout it, it might sounds silly. but no doubt, they are my dearest. i’m writting this now cause it’s back on track and everything was at where it supposed to be.

first, i got the news that my doggies were sent away without my knowledge on the eve of my presentation day. it was devastating! i cried at that instant. i’m angry at myself cos i can’t do anything. everytime i think of lucky and milkshake, i felt so bad for them. i can’t help thinking about their conditions. the doggies were separately given to different ppl.. which i know lucky can’t sleep without having milkshake beside her. the two of them have been staying next to each other since they were young! i cried the whole night. apparently my parents wanted to keep the news away from me.. in which i understand why they did so. i wanted to stop crying but i can’t help it. why they were given away? to some, i might have told you bout this bastard neighbour that i have. he and his family has the worst ever characters! which dogs on earth which doesn’t barks?! don’t mention those that has been ‘silenced’ by their cruel owner who removed the dog’s vocal cord. i definitely wouldn’t do that to mine!! ok, back to that F***er (sorry, i just can’t find another word for them).. he and his family has always been complaining. i dont know why are they sooo troublesome. they just can’t give us peace! every now and then.. they’ll come and complain bout my dogs. they even complained bout the renovations in OUR house!! i’m pretty sure it’s NONE of their business! can’t they just MIND THEIRS?? i’m sure you’ll get pissed off with their attitude.

on the next day, i got another news that my dad is going to do a mri scan. am still worrying and brain-storming on how to get the dogs back.. now bombarded with this one. i’ve previously heard that from my mom but dad was reluctant to do it cos he don’t wants to put up a night in the hospital. dad has always been complaining bout heaty plantar and aching foot.. tried a lot of ways.. u name it; acupuncture, massage, drugs, drugs and more drugs.. be it western or chinese medications. and sometimes, i just got so fed up with those GPs cos they’ll just sent my dad off with a course of ibuprofen.. or just some glucosamines supplements. waste money and time. if they can’t really diagnose the actually cause, can’t you just refer him to the specialist?! i’ve always asked him to seek specialist advice and treat the actual cause, which he finally does, instead of just treating the symptoms that he has. i’m glad he finally does. but still, as a daughter.. i’m worried with the results. whatever it is… i hope the diagnosis will be good.

and today, i can finally breathe a sigh of relief as everything was okay and has got back on track. Dad is doing good.. the diagnosis was good. Some physiotherapies and medications, good prognosis was anticipated. calling him on the phone the other day, he assured me a few times that it’s nothing to worry about.. I know he’s worried that i wont be able to pay attention in studying. The day i called him on the phone, they were still keeping the news of the dogs away from me. The moment when i wanted to ask bout the dogs so much, but i can’t ..was really difficult!! Tears came rolling down unexpectedly. The house was dead quiet without the doggies and the whole family weren’t okay with that. apparently, not only me who teared because of it.. my family does as well. after advising the lawyer, dad took back the doggies and now, they’re back home.. i can really sleep now.

I was wondering, is there an act or a section in the laws which prevents someone for having such a “big mouth” to come and complain now and then.. disturbing one’s peace?? if anyone of you who knows any…please let me know! mayb we could get a court order to prevent him or his family to come near my house in the near 100 yards!! a real ass****

 

when words get in the way..

i only have 24 hours in a day which is not enough at all

with the immense load, i dont know why i’m still lagging darn, like a pentium 2 processor

i just can’t get over it and out of my head. i just can’t stop listening to him! he is way too mesmerising! :)

looks like u gonna accompany me thru my finals :) thank you! lol~

…

你的绘画凌乱着.
在这个时刻.
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽.
甜蜜散乱了.

情绪莫名的拉扯.
我还爱你呐.
伴你断断续续唱着歌.
假装没事了.

时间过了走了.
爱情面临选择.
你冷了却了我哭了.

一开始的不快乐.
你用卡片拭写着.
有些爱只给到这真的痛了.

怎麽了.你累了.说好的.幸福呐
我懂了.不说了.爱淡了.梦淹了
开心与不开心.一一叙说着.你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻.我都还记得

你不等了.说好的.幸福呐
我错了.泪干了.放手了 后悔了

只是回忆的音乐和还旋转着.要怎么停呐

怎麽了.
你累了.
说好的.
幸福呐.
我懂了.
不说了.
爱淡了.
梦淹了.
我都还记得.

—

when words get in the way, there’s only one left to do… L.I.S.T.E.N