#current

FouR weeKs..

shop, eat, shop, eat..

unfortunately, sleep is not very much on the list. dad still plays the routine of waking all of us up every single morning at wee hours for breakfast! and also hiking in the nearby hill in broga! >< really sien sometimes. thought it should be holidays and i’ll get the sleep as much as i can. but nahhh.. not the case here. good on one hand, i’ll be damn fit n healthy ;p it better be tht case.. why? an elevated level of CRP which might weakens a couple of hearts :)

shopping.. it’s heaven in malaysia! always came back at the right time.. just in time for the Annual Msia YearEndSales! and it’s Christmas time! can see that everyone is busy gearing up for the joyous event.

tomorrow, i’ll be off to KK for 4 days. just for a short trip with my family and relatives. dont ask me what i’ll be doing there.. i’m clueless. but when i’m back, i shall fill this place with pictures.

i’ve been asked several times; what i’m doing in msia? *giggles* i’m being a darn good daughter, staying at home most of the time.. besides heading out sometimes to catch up with my fellow mates who were still busy working [but they still make time out for tea.. you guys were awesome]. i’m spending priceless moments with  my doggies at home :)

of cos, the saddest thing that has happened to me since i came back is to have pump up a couple of kilos (if not, mayb 1 or 2). apparently, there’s nothing to eat in Perth [acc to dad n bro] .. so they always makes me eat all 3 meals plus tea time, supper! omg!! and each meal were darn full…sometimes gotta force myself to resist some of the temptations. i knew.. this time, to KK.. i’ll pump up another few o._ kilos..  ~ i dont want to imagine it

..will be back

_never               forget to practice the lullaby_

what’s now?

you always wanna keep everyone around you to be happy, but what u didn’t know is what you’re doing might actually do the other things round. it’s pretty ridiculous at times. hmmm.. this taught you that what u think is the right way may not be too good anyway. or what has work well previously doesn’t necessarily do its part this time. I am confused.

she is not well.. though I don’t usually talk much to her, seeing her be in such pain and worried.. really makes your heart shrinks at times. what’s more saddening is the pain had been lingering for a year but those so-called specialist doesn’t know what’s wrong with her. only tests and scans was done. tubes of blood specimens were drawn. it’s pretty ridiculous. and I thought doctors shld be caring enough to spend quality time with their patient. but heck, we’ve waited for about an hour plus for the ultrasound scan to be done and another 2 hours for the doctor’s advice.. €{%~<*# good uh?!

Having travelled to subang and forth early in the morning for 2 days in a row, kinda put my sleep pattern in jeopardy. it is tiring!
I want my sweet lullaby!!!

-the end- ?

not entirely true tho. . it’s a lifelong learning. i’ve already got a number of updates when i’m off work. results were released ytd midnight.. and i’m kinda delighted to end the 4 years good. not in the perfect manner but, at least it’s ok for me.

mom suddenly asked, “you always drink when you’re there?” .. errr, can’t say i don’t drink at all. cos, i did! clubbing seems to be essential, especially for places like Perth (:

Eyed: PF Flyers..Number 5!

should i? should i not? (:

PATHETIC

sometimes, you people are pathetically bastards!

outburst

okay, being cognitively impaired and disturbed.. i can’t concentrate. having finished my first exam of the 2 papers, i should be glad and happy. but, deep down.. i knew i’m not. i’m trying to avoid. all the time.

what could be worst than waking up in the morning after the paper, then one.. only that ONE question in the exam paper that emerge in my brain. i knew something is wrong. confirmed.. it’s a wrong answer! what the hell of a great thing to start the day off with.

what could be worst than being rejected; even when you’ve heard rumours about it, no matter what, you still carry the hope that it isn’t true. but, disappointing ways to tell you that it is the fact!

“if you don’t really put a high hope on getting it, you won’t be too upset about it”
hope? not to deny, i do put some hope to it cos it’ll somehow helps to prevent my hairs from getting grey and prevent wrinkles on my forehead. otherwise, i wouldn’t have to take all the troubles preparing for it.
and yes, i have a high self-esteem. and sometimes, losing is  bad. especially when i found out that i have to lost to someone whom i knew is no better than me. i fell badly; it hurts.

i knew the people around me cares. but when it comes to that issue, caring suddenly turns evil and i get so fed up of answering the same thing to everyone. i knew you guys care but i don’t have a definite answer for you and; I myself doesn’t know exactly what is it going to be. it’s misty ahead.. someone please shone the light on me

aware? not really

the old habit hasn’t change and it’s disheartening; to both yourself, and the people around you. how many people can be so determine to change and be successful in it. no matter how hard i try to make it better; it doesn’t seems to improve. is it my problem or is it not?

every time when such things happen, you tend to avoid; not talking, not bothering, pretend nothing has happened. you know it’s not the right away to deal with it. being cold will only makes the ice harder.. and you know that. you never wants to talk about it and you feel you’re the one who should be pampered. it’s selfish and you know that. aware and trying to make a difference; but when the same thing tends to happen, it jumps right back on the native way..

is there any other way?

when..

here again, i’m standing in front of two roads diverging into the bushes.

it’s doubtful, it’s confusing, it gives me insomnia.

i remembered.. 4 years back, i’m in the same situation.

overlooking these two uncertainties..i really don’t know what to do.

somebody, please help me..

tell me, what’s wrong today. i just felt like i need to let all this go.. somewhere. but i found no where. i just don’t understand why today has to be one bad day when i feel the worst in months. it’s not fucking pms. i feel this right down to the core. everything went the way it wanted and obviously not the way i want them to be. first, i almost miss the bloody bus early in the morning. then i realised i left my file containing my journal and notes at home. then, i get r.a.s within 20minutes of lecture. i can’t concentrate at all. so i ended up skipping my next lecture. next, i realised i might need to do 2 presentations tmr for which i haven’t prepare. again, i drove without my license. frustating enough, i managed to finish the slides for tmr in the evening. then, worst come to worst, a best friend come telling you; you’ve made history by making her sad; so no more best friend.

all this shits are giving me headache. why? why everything has to cramp into a day?! it’s frustating. it’s too much for a day. i’m feeling very agitated and irritable now. i wanna smack things..but i don’t wanna wake my hsemates. guess i could just hide behind my pillows and shout out loud

moon and mooncakes

Happie Mid-Autumn Festival!

Enough?

ipod playing evan yo’s 我想要说

Have I really had enough of Perth?